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Location: New York, New York, United States

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Truth About What Happened in Cairo


Here's what happened to me in Cairo this last trip - it's gonna be long and a bit gross (sorry), so put down the sandwich ...

Before this Cairo Ahlan wa Sahlan Festival I had NEVER missed a seminar class (and only ONE performance - due to a taxi accident) - in over 47 years!

I had to cancel BOTH my classes in Cairo and my performance because I was seriously ill and almost died - I was 2 hrs away from bleeding to death internally and spent almost a week in the Anglo-American hospital in Cairo. Thank heavens I took out travel health insurance!!!

It seems that totally unbeknownst to me, I had/ have TWO steadily bleeding duodenal ulcers, originally caused by MOTRIN (!!!!) I was taking when I taught for the Two Old Bags in Reno almost 3 years ago.... (BEWARE OF IBUPROFIN!!!)

The Motrin caused the first incident the Monday after that seminar, when I was spewing like Mt Vesuvius (gross!) which was misdiagnosed as gastritis. I thought I recovered.

Nothing really noticeable for almost 3 years - a little occasional indigestion that Mylanta and Pepcid calmed - till I went to teach in California in April (spent all Sat night barfing my guts up, but taught my classes nonetheless - fortunately there was no show)

Then a less violent incident in Nashville in May - after I had finished my teaching and show.

In June Delta totally stranded an entire planeful of passengers to Asheville, NC in Atlanta airport - including ME - with NO way of getting there till a sainted passenger said: "I'm renting a car and driving to Asheville, whos coming with me???"

THAT was how I got to my seminar and concert - 7 1/2 hours later than scheduled. Imagine the stress!!!

I'm NEVER voluntarily flying Delta again. Their excuse for no flight?? "The plane is here, but we can't find the crew." Repeated for over THREE and a HALF HOURS.

Add to that FIVE YEARS of continual auditing and harrassment/ extortion by the IRS and the schedule you see on my "Where's Rocky" page...

Left for Cairo Sunday, June 24 with my darling duckies ... Get to Cairo June 25, register my duckies for their classes while they were on a city tour & climbing the pyramids ... Opening Gala,

I'm feeling VERY nauseous - and not because of Nancy's god-awful, uncoordinated dancing boys. Went to my room and couldn't stop upchucking for 5 days. Gross!!! Could not eat a bite and still barfing away.

Called the Mena House's doctor, who gave me something called "Vomistop". It didn't. Went to the hospital he recommended because I was now barfing blood and even intrepid moi was scared.

They did an immediate endoscopy and discovered that my entire stomach was filled with congealed blood from the 2 slowly, steadily bleeding duodenal ulcers I didn't know I had, that blocked anything getting through.

Put me in the ICU in a private room, 24 hr nurses ....(same tacky green hospital "robe" and too damned much a.c.)

They said from the amount if clotted gook in there, it dated back almost 3 years. I did the math.

For 4 days I had a tube down my nose into my stomach, pumping up over 2 1/2 LITERS of congealed toxic sludge/ bloodclots. TOTAL grossout!

Saline and potassium drips to rehydrate & resupply my depleted electrolytes. No food, no water, no appetite, lots of books ... The best gastroenterologist in Cairo (cute too!)

He asked me why it had gotten so out of hand, that I was really 2 hrs away from dead when I got there, 'cause one more good barf and several vessels would've ruptured and I could only say I didn't feel a thing ...

So: It's not the way I'd've chosen to lose a few pounds., I'm out, on Nexium for a bit, back from Cairo, kickin' butt and taking names ...

Back in NYC 7/17 and gonna be lots more careful and lots less forgiving of things/ people who stress me out ...

One of the first things I gotta do is make out a Will ... then hire a tax lawyer and try and finish my darned book already.

Ciao for niao